The Standard Was Invisible
This week’s marriage tactic is about the fight that happens when one partner feels like the goalpost keeps moving and the other feels like the task never gets done all the way. The issue is not usually that one person cares too much or the other person cares too little. The issue is that the standard only lives in one person’s head, so every handoff turns into guessing, correction, and resentment. The Handoff Protocol helps couples define what “done” means, separate standards from preferences, and transfer ownership without turning one partner into the household quality-control department.